This is going to be a new weekly post I am going to do where I choose my own cast for famous literary works. Some movies may have already been made, but in my opinion I will have to recast the whole thing and start back from the beginning (looking at you Eric Stoltz in Back to the Future). I feel it is only right that we start with a novel that has been cast over and over but yet has never had the legs to be made into a movie.
Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
A little back story on this novel for those not in the know. John Kennedy Toole was a failed author who committed suicide before the book ever got published. It was his determined mother who took the novel to a professor at Loyola University in New Orleans who helped get it published. The novel was eventually awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1981 and stands today as one of the greatest works of Southern literature.
The plot revolves around the interplay of some flashy characters and unsavory types in New Orleans during the early 1960’s. This isn’t a book report on the novel so if you have more interest I suggest taking a read or at least perusing the Wikipedia page.
Ignatius J. Reilly: A eccentrically educated slob who fashions himself the preeminent scholar of all and social justice warrior taking on every battle just before bailing when things take a turn. Ideally I would had cast Philip Seymour Hoffman in this role, his Sandy Lyle character from Along Came Polly was basically Ignatius light. Played By: Nick Offerman (actually played him in theater version)
Myrna Minkoff: A political malcontent from New York and relationship icy hot for Ignatius. They met in college and have been battling with and against ever since. Played By: Parker Posey
Mrs. Irene Reilly: Ignatius’s overprotective and worrisome mother that slowly starts to untangle herself from around his finger as the story progresses. Played By: Kathy Bates
Angelo Mancuso: Joke of the police force that continually gets put into compromising situations while trying to build a case, often at the expense of Ignatius. Played By: Will Forte
Lana Lee: Pugnacious owner of the Night of Joy strip club where all the characters seem to find themselves in from time to time. Highly combative to all who enter, unless they are buying some of her topless photos. Played By: Maria Bello
Darlene: Clueless stripper from the Night of Joy who spends her time trying to master the perfect routine with her pet cockatoo. Played By: Ashley Benson
Burma Jones: Night of Joy porter who spends his smoke filled days behind his sunglasses seeing all while sweeping up and getting yelled at by Lana. Played By: Samuel L Jackson