With continued technological innovation a lot of our lives have been transferred online. Through an ever expanding aggregation of apps, websites, and widgets so much of daily life can be accessed, viewed, and updated from anywhere with strong enough WiFi. However, much like John Hammond’s Jurassic vision, these great ideas can often be accompanied by some fiendish fruit.
Traditionally the stalking game was much like running for political office, you really needed to hit the pavement to get the job done; shaking hands and kissing babies, or sitting in a 93 Ford Sierra in a parking lot across the street from a Walmart binoculars in hand. Now that so much of our lives has been transferred online Susy Q Stalker doesn’t need to sift through our mailbox anymore, simply log on to any number of places where we openly share most everything going on in our lives. Personally it takes all of the fun of the hunt out of it for me, but I guess some people thrive in the digital jungle like a lion surveying an unassuming gazelle.
The first wave of social media platforms such as Facebook, MySpace (RIP), Foursquare and the like were fairly apparent to most people the ability someone has to view some aspects of your life. Pictures posted or tagged of you are free for perusal to anyone who wants. Go out to eat and check in on Foursquare now there is a little map of your movements. Your groups of friends are easily known, as are any biographical items you self report. As times progressed, innovation didn’t quite stay consistent with all of the early pioneers and for the most part keeping tabs on people fell solely on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram where geotagging and 6 second videos carried the water in the interested interloper racket. But like any industry there was a new generation on the way that was going to add a little more depth to what a possessive prowler can know about someone.
As almost every aspect of your life gets turned into some app applicable service there is a secondary field of stalking available. Want to know what music someone is jamming out to, well head on over to Spotify and hate watch your friend go through an amalgamation of some truly awful tunes (seriously Hammar, The Eagles to Jimmy Buffet to The Bee Gees). A little more in depth, lets find out who you owe money to, or how you are spending it. Head over to Venmo, do some quick emoji translation and figure out that Patricia paid Tommy for their amazing tacos an hour ago or that Josh owed Rebeca for the January electric bill. Also a pro tip for the IRS, FBI, any petty criminal organization or law enforcement group, Venmo is the premier bookmaking racket. Why does everyone keep paying Tony for skiing right after a football game in September, hmmmmm??? Even some of the first generation sites have developed more in depth monitoring capabilities. Did you know that there is even a way on Yelp to see establishments that someone has bookmarked to go visit? So now you don’t only know where someone has been but you can know where they are going.
For those Kardashian klones out there who want to live their lives vicariously through their social feeds, you have nothing to worry about. Keep releasing every little tid bit about what is occurring in your life. Just make sure to say hi to Brie Larson for me when you end up spending the next 14 years in an Ohio backyard bungalow with limited windows but a plethora of locks.
As a little note of levity to end this post, have a listen to this upbeat jam about stalking by the fellas in Piebald.