Backseat Scientist: Dinosaur Bones

Time for some philosophical science coming at your ass.  Now as much as you may disagree, based on my Eisensteinian dissection of hipster clothing trends or my empirical study of New York water culinary content, I am no scientist.  I do not dabble in the world of hypothesis, control, and independent variable.  However what I do do is wander around a lot, stare out windows, and make many a bold theory whilst atop a bar stool.  There are too many curious things in this crazy world we live in to simply leave it to the nerds to solve all of them.  It was on one of these dozing off vision quests that I had one of these pontificating paradigms.

This takes a bit to get going so stick with me.  Dinosaurs roamed this earth millions upon millions of years ago and then died.  Sorry Littlefoot you and Ducky just didn’t make it.   After their death their bodies ended up being covered with years and years of earth and other decomposing raw material.  Now as misleading as the name is fossil fuels is actually not the fossils of dinosaurs but smaller plankton and tiny organisms that came before the dinosaurs were even roaming the planet, this is all according to a quick search I did in google, like I told you I am no scientist.  Now ipso facto if these dinosaur bones weren’t transferred into crude oil and can still be found in large swaths all over Montana (T-Rex was a huge fly fishing fanatic), the lack of bone decomposition provides an intriguing situation.

If after all the millions upon millions of years since the dinosaurs have been extinct, the bones have yet to decompose, at what point does the planet become just one large platform of dirt and bones from humans as well.  Humans outnumber even the most enlarged estimates of dinosaurs populations millions to one.  Bone is also an organically produced material that as the population keeps spiking is in large supply, and if people forgo the way of cremation or an ulterior method, they will be laying in a graveyards for millions and millions of years waiting to decompose.  As the great Al Czervik said “Country clubs and cemeteries are the biggest wasters of prime real estate! Dead people? They don’t need to be buried nowadays.“.  Who knew that when he spoke such sage words it was in response to a problematic issue of there not being anymore space to be buried.

Now I know this has gotten a bit dark and I don’t want to leave you with bad feelings after reading this, not to mention I’m a solutions guy after all.  So just give this a ponder.  If climatologists are talking about how the global warming crisis is causing the ice caps to melt and water table to rise, maybe, just maybe, having a few extra feet of height built of bones might be the solution to our problem.  Being an organ donor I am already set, when my time comes, to give whatever I have left to those who need it.  Well what if I can help your house in Ohio not become beach front property, then I truly gave all of myself.


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