Cleveland vs Chicago a Culinary Championship Game.

With what could be the penultimate game of the World Series, it is only fitting to dig in and pit these two great Midwestern centers of culture and commerce on the playing field that really matters, home town eats.  While the debate over which Great Lake is Superior (Boom Roasted) lets pit three classics from each city against each other.

Batting lead-off we have some ethereal ethnic appetizers.  Representing the City of Cleveland, Ohio we have that Dangerous Dumpling the Pierogi.  The most ingenious food delivery device in the culinary world that can be filled with the finest meats and cheeses or simply with some mashed potatoes and sauteed onions.  Boil or pan fry them up, top with some butter, additional onions, or sour cream and you have a piquant pocket of deliciousness.  Hitting from the opposite side of the plate representing Chicago, Illinois we have the Tubular Titan the Tamale.  Similar to it’s opponent, aside from the basic structure of corn husk wrapped masa you can really implement any type of filling, making it a true utility fielder for any palate.  Steam up this tantalizing tunnel to taste town, smother with any amount of hot sauce, salsa, sour cream, or a Chicago staple chili and there you have an explosive start to any meal.  While both really make contact and have the ability to get on base, the pierogi just has a little more pop in that lead off spot.

Winner: Pierogi’s

Some recommendations for both would be Sokolowski’s University Inn for pierogi’s and Tacos Tequilas for tamales.

In the two hole we have very similar types players.  Both are real solid consistent grinders that get on base a lot and occasionally will have a little pop in their bat, but mostly you know what you are getting day in and day out.  Representing The Second City we have Deep Dish Pizza.  Nothing epitomizes or polarizes the great people of Chicago more than that thick walled fork and knife colossus that definitely adds some layers for those cold winters.  Crusty walls keep locked in a moat of sauce and toppings that conversely lay on top of a lake of cheese in this Windy City classic.  As many Chicagoan’s swear they never eat deep dish it seems that for a destitute industry they sure are thriving.  Stepping up to bat for the Sixth City (yes Cleveland is really called that) is the bastard cousin of the deep dish, it is the pizza bagel.  Now for the novice this is not the pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time variety where it is split in two and made as a pizza bed, oh no.  The Cleveland pizza bagel is a whole bagel covered in sauce and cheese, essentially similar to an everything bagel but the fixings of a pizza instead of poppy seeds and garlic bits.  Sad to say Cleveland really struck out looking on this one while Chicago hit a solid double.

Winner: Deep Dish Pizza

Check out these spots for the best of the best Pequod’s Pizza for the top deep dish and Frickaccio’s for some pizza bagels.

The big hitters for both cities step up to the plate in the third and final showdown.  Hitting in the meat of the order you really need to swing a scrumptious stick and both cities send their heavy hitters.  Representing the Mistake on the Lake (Cleveland) we has the infamous Polish Boy.  An ingenious creation of smoked sausage or kielbasa topped with crispy french fries, creamy cole slaw, and a dousing of a hot and tangy BBQ sauce is what Clevelanders hold as the true pinnacle of their culinary prowess.  To be completely honest it speaks to the grit and gut of a town that would be so noble in its blue collar delights.  Countering for Chi-raq we have the even messier and possible meatier Italian Beef sandwich.  A thick dripping sub roll filled with tender roast beef that has been soaked in its own juices and then topped with a sweet peppers and a spicy pickled vegetable condiment called giardiniera.  The fatty, the spice, the sweet, the mess, it all adds up to a two fisted sandwich that a metropolitan megalith such as Chicago can be rely on to come up in the clutch when a hit is needed.  When the game is on the line with a tie ball game in the bottom of the 9th only one true slugger can propel their city to victory and that is the Italian Beef.

Winner: Italian Beef

For some sloppily savory Italian Beef hit up Joe Boston’s Italian Beef and for the best Polish Boy stop off at Seti’s Polish Boys

Chicago wins 2-1 in the 9th

So there you have it folks, if Kris Bryant and Andrew Miller decided to take the night off and let their food fight for themselves the series would be heading to a Game 7 with Chicago winning tonight.


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